#ofFEMinAGEmetaMORPHOSIS ~ , 2022.06.30

. . .

… and,
“last meal” i ACTuALLY had
was on the 17th of June, 2022 …

am «wishing» “i” did
not have “such” … “3D place~meant” “things”
to … “worry” “abOUT” …

“i” “ran” “out” of “money” “then”
and was “left” with “€12~13”
to “get by” for “the next”
… “20~25″ days” …

“it” could “be” “worse”

and, «i am»

Grateful & Great~Full

to «+ΠΑΝ»
for “protecting”
and
for ALL that is “providing”

.

the “deceit~full”
and ONLY “on papers” “family”

along with
ALL “the people” that
eventUally “lost their honour”
and
were “re~moved” from “my life”

“meant”
that “i” was “left” (AND “right”)
with
NOTHING AND NO~ONE

~ for the past one year
have NOT had ANYone to “even”
“use” “my voice” with ~

a «ΦωτοΑδέλφι»,
(the local “coffee~house” “owner”)
has been “the ONLY one”
that «enABLEd» “my self” to «call»
(“yester~day”)
and “ask” ~ “him” ~ to “pay”
“my” “internet connection”
(“€30” ~ that was “expiring” “to~day”)
which i will “re~turn” (the “money”)
by “mid~July” …

.

(quite “early on”) “i” made “a choice”
to “live” as an “income earner”
(that, with more than “enough”
“frugality”, “i” “could” …!)
how~ever,
“my” “in papers family”
“made sure” “i” was NEVER
“at liberty” to “do” so …

so, “last year”, in “August” of “2021”
and “a week” away from “my” “51st birth~day”,
i “left” a “message” to “my mother”
that, “i” «wished» NO “longer” to be
“a mercenary”
(which is “how” “i was kept” “ENslaved”
by the “in papers family”)

and, to
“ONCE and FOR ALL”
“ferret out”
this “charade” of “my life”
of the “caring mother”
“caring” for “her use~less daughter”

the “house”
she was NEVER “thrown” out from
has been “in papers” ONLY
(as “EVERYthing” “abOUT” “me”
HAS BEEN, ALL “my life”, with “regards”
to “this family”)
“my property” …

(UNlike “my” “in papers sister” who DID,
when “i” was “15” and “still” “going to school”,
“living” with “my mother”, be~cause
“my sister” “re~turned” from “her studies abroad”
~ “Rome” in “Italy” to be more “precise” ~
of “4 years” and withOUT “a paper”,
to “say” that “the house” in “Pen Hill”
~ a HUGE “mansion” with even “to~day’s” “standards” ~
was “hers” and, “she” (at “22 years of age”) was going
to “live there with her fiancé”
~ NOT “a husband” for 3~4 years “yet” ~
and, “my mother” was NOT “welcome”)

“i” «wished» for “her” (“my mother”)
to “once and for all” FACE
the «Α~ΛΗΘΕΙΑ» of “the situation”
that it was NEVER about “caring”
and “it” was ALL~WAYS and ONLY
“abOUT” … “Pavlovian tactics”

… in~DEED …

for “the first time” E V E R
a «wish» of “mine”
was ACTuALLY “granted”
by “my mother”

and, for “a year” nearly “complete” “now”
i was “living” on “€300” per month,
with “€140” per month to “pay”
: “rent in Greece” for “storing my things”
of “my 11~12 years of life” “there”
(plus, “€110” per trimester for “storage
in Greece”, too)
and, the “internet connection”
which “is” “my” «life ~ line» (or, «wave») …
and,
“the rest” (“€160”) for
“toilet paper”, “sanitary towels”, “smokes”
OH! and “food” …

“thank God!” i was “left” with “NO car”

(“car driving” has been a “PASSION of mine”
since i was “2½ years” OLD ~ and, by “36”
i had “4” cars ~ EACH of its “own” “merit” !!! ~)

and, could ONLY “walk” ANYwhere (“near”)
since “i” could NOT “take the bus” either,
be~cause i had been
NOT “abiding” with “mask~mandates”
(was literally, “thrown” out, “twice”
~ atleast, the “one” time i did NOT “pay” !!!)
and, again, to be honest, could NOT “afford”
(“€2” per “route”!!!)

as, “petrol” prices and “keeping a car”
is be~yond a “LOL” of a “sitUatION” !!!

i DID “try” to buy an “electric tricycle”
(+”shipment” less than “€2000”)
from “Crete”, last “July”,
how~ever,
a previous “money engagement”
of “my Honour”, which is “my Integrity”
be~cause of “my Self~Respect”,
“prevented” me from “affording” that …

“this flat”
i have been staying since
the “28th of April, 2021”,
has NO “hot water” and
even the “weather water” is ONLY
“running water” of “3½~4½L”
per “20 minutes”
and, NO “heating” …

in the “Summer” of “2018”
i “weighted” at … “132kg” …
(the “heaviest” i have ever been
and “lowest” point of “my living
in Greece” with yet “an other”
“deceit~full” “family” i gave “my ALL”
for 11 years, “raising a boy” too, to “create” …)

by the “Summer” of “2020”
~ at “which point” there was
“NO alternative” but to “re~turn”
to «Cyprus»
(and, “my AWARE death~row”)
due to “world events” ~
i “weighted” about “120kg”

“to~day” i “weigh” less than “95kg” …

that is the “by and by” of
“severing ties” with “abuse”,
NOT having “means of transportation”
and, (“OH!”)
NOT having “food to eat” …

which
at “nearing 52” and still with
“female monthly period HUNGRY fluctuations”
plus the “menopausal” symptoms
i have been having since “my early 30s”
is
“taking its toll” on “me” or, more “precise”
“my body” …

“there” aRe a “few” “other” “things”
that “my 3D place~meant” has had to have
through~out “my life” …
(for “example”, if ANYthing “happens” to
“my glasses”, it would COMPLETELY
“render me” … “incapacitated”)

and, YET
“i” «KNOW»
“it” could be “worse”

and, «i am»

Grateful & Great~Full

and, “making my prayers”

ALL WAYS ~ “always”
WITH LIGHT

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